Luke y Leia

They arrived from Merida — yes, Merida again — when they were just 2 months old, about the size of a turkey or a large chicken. Now, with 1 year and 3 months, they're giants and have no intention of going unnoticed. Luke and Leia are ostriches, and from day one, they made it clear that the one setting the party pace in this house has feathers.

They're extremely social animals: naturally nosy, they'll approach to investigate anything that moves — visitors, cameras, the remote control, you name it — and never miss a family gathering. If there are new people in the yard, you can bet there's an ostrich nearby within minutes.

That being said, even though they're almost as tall as an adult, an ostrich can live between 30 and 40 years, so they're just in their equivalent of kindergarten. We still need to treat them like what they are — a pair of kids who, due to a genetic accident, happen to be 6 feet tall.

Before moving in, they made one last visit to the farm where they were born — to meet their cousins, aunts, and the rest of the family — before starting their new life as part of the family.

Friends of the House

Yoda

Luke and Leia also have some unexpected friends on the property. The most memorable one so far: a giant grasshopper that one afternoon decided to land on the wall of the terrace and stay there, motionless, the size of a full hand.

We named him Yoda — between his greenish-yellow tone, his enormous size for an insect, and the absolute calm with which he let himself be picked up, the name felt inevitable. Unlike the Jedi master, Yoda doesn't give advice: he just stays still, watching everything with those huge eyes, until he decides to jump, reminding you that if he wanted to, he could disappear in an instant.

Given his size, the net pattern on his wings, and the orange border on his thorax, everything points to Yoda being a giant grasshopper (Tropidacris cristata) — one of the largest grasshoppers in the Americas, whose hind wings are an intense red that's only visible when flying.

• It's one of the largest grasshopper species in the American continent, reaching up to 14 centimeters in length.
• It lives from Mexico to South America, in tropical and jungle climates — like the southeast of Mexico.
• At rest, it looks yellowish-green with black spots, camouflaged among dry leaves — but when flying, it displays bright red hind wings to surprise predators.
• Its back legs allow it to jump distances far superior to its own body size.
• It feeds mainly on leaves from a wide variety of tropical plants.
• It's completely harmless to people — it doesn't bite or sting, although its size can be intimidating at first.
• It can live for more than a year in the wild.

35 Facts About Ostriches

1. It's the largest living bird in the world. It's got big shoes to fill, just like the expectations I have for them.
2. It can't fly — its wings are used for balance while running and in courtship. Basically decorative, like many board of directors.
3. It's the fastest land bird: it can run up to 70 km/h. Faster than any commercial proposal I've received this year.
4. It can maintain around 50 km/h for long distances without getting tired. I wish my wifi had that kind of consistency.
5. Each stride while running can measure between 3 and 5 meters. With that stride, I'd have already walked to the office.
6. It has only two toes per foot — most other birds have three or four. Fewer toes, zero drama — something we could all learn from.
7. Its kicks are so strong they can be lethal even for a lion. Take note: the real security guard of this house is already hired.
8. It has the largest eyes of any land animal: about 5 centimeters in diameter. They see everything. Absolutely everything. Yes, even that time you left the door open.
9. An ostrich's eye is literally bigger than its own brain. There are people who post on LinkedIn with that same proportion.
10. It lays the largest eggs of any living bird. I wish I could get a ticket that big.
11. An ostrich egg is equivalent to about 24 chicken eggs. For what my siblings eat, that's not even a starter.
12. The shell is so resistant that an adult can stand on it without breaking it. More resistant than any improvised business plan on a napkin.
13. It's not true that they bury their heads in the sand — the myth comes from when they lower their heads to ground level to turn the eggs in their nest. I mean, they don't avoid their problems either — another thing they're better at than us.
14. It's native to the savannas and semi-arid zones of Africa. And yet they adapted to Merida without complaining about the heat. Quite an example.
15. It's omnivorous: it eats mostly plants, seeds, and grass, but also insects and small reptiles. It eats what it finds, like me in a meeting that's gone on too long.
16. Since it doesn't have teeth, it swallows small stones (gastroliths) that help grind its food in the gizzard. A digestive system with more operational discipline than many startups.
17. It can go several days without drinking water, getting moisture from the plants it eats. I'm a public danger without coffee after two hours.
18. Its lifespan is 30 to 40 years — even longer in captivity. So this is a long-term relationship, not an internship.
19. It reaches sexual maturity between 2 and 4 years of age. They mature faster than some partners I've had.
20. Adult males are mostly black with white feathers on their wings and tail; females are a grayish-brown color. The only dress code in this house that's actually respected.
21. An adult male can weigh between 90 and 130 kilograms — some exceed 150 kilograms. And yet they run faster than me on a Monday morning.
22. It can grow up to 2.7 meters tall. Taller than I imagined when I said 'a couple of new pets'.
23. Its long neck allows it to detect predators from very far away in the savanna. Also useful for seeing who arrived without warning at the property.
24. It has exceptional hearing and vision. They find out everything before the family WhatsApp group.
25. It lives and moves in groups, usually between 5 and 50 individuals. Like a board of directors, but with better attendance.
26. It's curious by nature: it investigates everything that moves near it. If they worked at Ignia Cloud, they'd already be on the QA team.
27. It often shares its territory with zebras and antelopes, which take advantage of its good eyesight to detect danger. The kind of interspecies networking that's hard for me to do.
28. Its nest is just a hole in the sand, sometimes shared by several females from the same group. Less infrastructure than many startups in the seed stage, and yet it works.
29. The dominant female usually lays her eggs right in the center of the nest, where they're best protected. I wish I had that kind of clarity of hierarchy in a board meeting.
30. Males usually take care of incubating the eggs at night. The only one in this house who does night shifts without complaining.
31. It can run in zigzags to evade a predator during a chase. The same technique I use to avoid unnecessary meetings.
32. Its plumage, although it doesn't fly, helps regulate its temperature under the sun. Functional and stylish — something most jackets can't achieve.
33. It's farmed in several countries — including Mexico — for its meat, skin, and feathers. A topic Luke and Leia prefer not to discuss at dinner.
34. An ostrich chick can grow up to 30 centimeters per month during its first year. At that speed, you'd better not blink — or buy larger clothes every month.
35. It can live perfectly in pairs or groups and recognizes those who care for it every day. And yet they still don't recognize who pays for their food — typical.